According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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