you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
