Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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