There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He passed out mid-signature
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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