I look better un-naked...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
