Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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