how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
