Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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