I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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