This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
