I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
barbara walters just said penis...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I want her autograph on my taint
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
