oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you didnt know i had herpes?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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