Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
