and you said cock pushups were impossible
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
