Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
