he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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