So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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