We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
