a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize