I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
