I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Rumble strips road head = magical
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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