The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
