$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
