it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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