He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
