Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
