Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it was like eating out sand paper
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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