I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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