You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
