Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
