It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
