you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
