Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
