1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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