My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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