Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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