he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
