come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
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I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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