Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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