she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize