They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
