the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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