I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
