There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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