I just made out with a guy for $7.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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