If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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