He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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