I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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