How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
