You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
