...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
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When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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