the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
