I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize