You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
