and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize