I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
