toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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