Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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