So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
