I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
