i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
