I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
