i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
