i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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